Thursday, December 22, 2005

All these complications seem to leave no choice - We Can Run

I am an addict.
I am a sister, daughter, friend, lover - an addict. I have a job, home, family - an addiction. Given the gift of sobriety I selfishly hold on to that. Without it I have nothing. I would not be your friend, your lover, your sister, your daughter. So whatever the cost, whatever the sacrifice, I choose sobriety. I choose it because I choose life. It is your choice to accept that or not.


Anonymous stranger said...

keep holdin on to it, hon. those who can't accept it, and love you the more for it, aren't worth the effort.

9:13 PM  
Blogger jane said...

I can relate to that more than I wish I could. Who we were & who we know we could be again, undoubtedly is what keeps us humble & clean.
I would say I wish for you serenity, but I can see you've already got that. With that, you've got the world.
Helen, I am extremely grateful we've found each other's blogs.

3:09 AM  
Blogger Euian said...

I kind of find it hard to see which is which. Yea, some things cannot just be let go easily for it will have profound effect. It's hard to think how to rise above these things.

8:30 AM  
Blogger Yong said...

Have a Merry Christmas and let us all look forward! better things and a better life ahead.

11:36 AM  
Anonymous westchesterdead said...


It's always nice to read a little honesty. I can relate - I just celebrated 20 years clean and sober in February, 2005. In some ways, the Grateful Dead were instrumental (pun intended) in furthering my addiction but, mainly - and more importantly, they have been essential in furthering my recovery over the last two decades.

The music - and the philosophy behind the music - is Zen at it's best and soothes me whenever I'm feeling lost and hopeless. The lyrics never fail to come to my aid when dealing with the many blows that life throws my way. Last but not least, the other deadhead friends that I've met in recovery have stood by my side through thick and thin - for twenty years.

Life has been good. I wouldn't want it any other way. I don't miss the drugs and alcohol, and I don't begrudge those that still partake. My addiction was always my cross to bear - I was always the one who seemed most out of control. I don't have regrets, either - only very embarrassing and hilarious stories to tell.

Thanks for the post. It's nice to know that there are others out there, too.


11:39 AM  
Blogger Glyn (Zaphod) Evans said...

Your strength is great. People have to understand how important this is to you.

Thanks for the link btw, you made me laugh!

Have a Merry Christmas :)

12:33 PM  
Blogger Graham said...

That's beautiful Helen. Happy Christmas and I hope life stays cool throughout the new year :).

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Brooks Yoo said...

It''s quite impressive.

2:22 PM  
Blogger Michael K. Willis said...

Very cool and very powerful. Thanks for the warming burst of inspiration in a season where inspiration should be evident than it sometimes is.

Happy Christmas :-)

5:30 PM  
Blogger Kathryn Beach said...

Merry Christmas and please visit my blog, my most recent entry is a gift for all.

I truly think you will appreciate it.

Regarding the true meaning of Christmas...

7:23 PM  
Blogger dorna! said...

Good on yer Helen. Have a happy whateverholidayyouhappentocelebrate. :D

8:47 PM  
Blogger Mark said...

Helen - Did I know you were a Wharf Rat too????

17+ years here!

We can run, but we can't hide. Every day is a new gift to do something good for yourself in recovery. And others will benefit along the way.

Peace, and happy holidays! Karen left you a note at her site.

9:32 PM  
Blogger sage said...

Helen, Have a Merry Christmas. Thanks for the honesty in your posts. blessings

2:30 PM  
Blogger karma said...

the season's best to you, honey. just be yourself


8:59 PM  
Blogger Kathryn Beach said...

Ellen, I'm glad you enjoyed your visit to my blog.

Hold on to the truth, dear.

11:09 AM  
Blogger Shrinking Wop said...

Merry Christmas and a healthy and happy New Year to you and your family.

You have a gift for openly and honestly telling it like it is.


11:20 AM  
Anonymous dawn said...

Growing up with two alcoholic parents, and having a drinking problem when I was younger, I think that you have the right to choose sobriety over those who would make you want to drink. You are a better person for that and I congradulate you on your obvious will power to avoid the temptation. Those who can accept your sobriety are those whom accept you as the person you are, not what they want you to be.

2:36 AM  
Blogger David said...

sober is a good choice - I commend you for the work you do to stay right!

3:00 AM  

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