Caught in the space between waking and dreaming, a heart full of fear and a head full of scheming - When the lights went out

I am here - over a week later. Fighting with my addiction and so afraid of who I will be without it because is has become a part of who I am . Somedays I win, other's I lose. I was reminded last night that things don't and won't always happen in MY time. There is so much I am powerless over. This battle has not ended . I cry every day and don't think I'll stop until I finally win. At this point, I don't think I could stop if I wanted to.